Get all 15 Chris Tavener releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Daily Grind, Easy Ways To Be Happy, It's Cold Outside Today, Postcard Home, Bottle It Up, Is He Joking? (Live), Faking Cool, Apocalypse Prediction, and 7 more.
1. |
[Off Stage Nerves]
00:55
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2. |
Praise Him
03:10
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We’ve got to praise him, praise him
He helped me open my eyes
We’ve got to praise him, praise him
‘Cause he’s the star in our lives
In his name and with his love
I have gladly walk for miles
We’ve got to praise him, praise him
Praise to Harry Styles
Oh I read a book on him each night
And I learn it off by heart
A verse can help you when you feel
Like you’re struggling in the dark
And there’s a picture taped against my wall
If you squint your eyes, he’s wearing nothing at all
It’s Harry Styles, spread the word around
We’ve got to praise him, praise him
He helped me open my eyes
We’ve got to praise him, praise him
‘Cause he’s the star in our lives
In his name and with his love
I have gladly walk for miles
We’ve got to praise him, praise him
Praise to Harry Styles
I take a weekly pilgrimage
To his house and his hometown
(which actually isn't that far from here)
A shrine to him sits in my room
So it feels like he’s around
There’s a club that meets in my front room
We all sit and talk, of what we’d like to do
To Harry Styles, and I get excited just to say his name
We’ve got to praise him, praise him
How he helped me open my eyes
And we’ve got to praise him, praise him
‘Cause he’s the star in our lives
In his name and with his love
I have gladly walk for miles
We’ve got to praise him, praise him
Praise to Harry Styles
Amen
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3. |
[Festival Spirit]
00:40
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4. |
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Let's All Go To A Festival
Let’s all go to a festival
The weather is sure to be good
Where rivers run thick, with sewage and sick
Where the grass lies under the mud
The wildlife is certainly wild
And glowing with bright UV paint
From streakers to druggies
To hipsters and hippies
And teenagers wreaking of shame
Oh!
Let’s all go to a festival
Let’s get high off our heads
We’ll constantly drink, we’ll constantly stink
We’ll soak in our watery beds
Let’s all go to a festival
Where sleeping rough never gets old
Lost in a field wearing dripping wet clothes
We’ll piss and shit in a hole
Let’s bring a suitcase of alcohol
We’ll drag it for 200 miles
The clothes that we packed, won’t be coming back
We’ll burn them in fiery piles
We’ll gather with 10,000 strangers
And stand in a huge pit of sweat
Hungry and thirsty
Bladder’s all bursting
While singers delay every set (Sorry everyone...)
Oh!
Let’s all go to a festival
Let’s get high off our heads (scream if you're high)
We’ll constantly stink, we’ll constantly drink
And we’ll soak in our watery beds (here we go)
Let’s all go to a festival
Where sleeping rough never gets old
Lost in a field wearing dripping wet clothes
We’ll piss and shit in a hole
Oh!
Let’s all go to a festival
And let’s lose stuff that we brought
We’ll miss the band, that we’d previously planned
To go to this fustercluck for
Let’s all go to a festival
We’ll spend every penny we own
Then sit on a bus, looking like we got mugged
And wish that we weren’t going home
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5. |
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6. |
Apocalypse Prediction
02:03
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I’ve had a premonition
A sneaking superstition
That the world is going to end today
And now I’ve had the vision
I’m on a major mission
Letting every single person know
You better tell your friends, you better tell your wife
Dump everything you own, don’t be thinking twice
Go hiding underground because the end is nigh in 1999
I might have been mistaken
That misinterpretation
Didn't have the figures all in line
But you can put your faith in
My new recalculation
Cause I’m sure I’ve got it right this time
You better lose yourself, you better turn and run
And guard your food supply with a loaded gun
Then hope you make it through because the end is nigh
In the Winter of 2012
Well I wouldn’t wait for the rapture
For Jesus knocking on your door
He’s been gone 2,000 years
And he could be 2,000 more
What if the world had just ended
What if we couldn’t tell?
The Earth went out two hours ago
And now we’re all living in Hell (you just haven't noticed yet)
Apocalypse depiction
Humanity’s addiction
Could be ever going on and on
And every new prediction
Could be a work of fiction
Yes but nobody can say who’s wrong
You better tell your friends, you better tell your wife
How much you think of them being in your life
Make every second count because for all you know
Your world could all end right now
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7. |
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8. |
Faking Cool
03:49
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I'm smoother than Play-Doh
I'm harder than hard boiled sweets
I've got my own style that
Was taken from films that I've seen
My friends always tell me
That no-one looks badder than me
But I'm not just a pretty face
I've also got a sexy physique
I'm dashing like Elvis
But he hasn't got my mystique (my mystique)
I wish I'd met James Dean
'Cause I think he'd like to be me
I'm just so enigmatic
Without even having to speak
But the feeling never goes
That maybe everybody knows
That I'm faking Cool. I'm faking cool
I'm faking cool, faking cool
Well I'm hot on guitar but
I don't really know any chords
The girls always tell me
That I could win poser awards (yeah, awards)
I only wear leather
And sunglasses when I'm indoors
I'm as slick as I can be
A rebel without any flaws
But for everything I've said
Now all that's going through my head
Is I'm faking Cool. I'm faking cool
I'm faking cool, faking cool
And It feels so hard
To drop the facade
When your back's against the wall
And I'm petrified that
When I strip it all back
I'll be left with nothing at all
When I say faking, you say cool
Faking (cool) Faking (cool)
When I say faking, you say cool
Faking (cool) Faking (cool)
When I say faking, you say cool
Faking (cool) Faking (cool)
I'm so faking cool
But I'll never let it show
I can't let anybody know
That I'm faking Cool. I'm faking cool
And the truth will never spread
Because I'll never have it said
That I'm faking Cool. I'm faking cool
I'm faking cool, faking cool
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9. |
[Witty Banter...]
01:04
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10. |
Phoney Supremacy
04:23
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Are you scared to say how you really feel?
Do you feel afraid, 'cause you know it's real?
When you see that they're coming over here
There's a million more in a single year
They speak a different language
And they're not compatible
With the rest of us, they look out for their own
The government won't make it stop
I saw one in my corner shop near home
I just don't like the people that use iPhones
I'm a Samsung man and I'm really proud
When I get a text you can hear the sound
*whistles Samsung ringtone*
Well it's not PC but I face the fact
That I can't be near a phone that's black
Nokia and Nexus
Have their own communities
They keep that to themselves that's fine with me
But I'd rather set my house on fire
Than let an iPhone use my wireless key
But it often feels like you and me
Are not too far apart
There's beauty in the world's diversity
And if you cut the smart phones open then they'll
both spill green chips
Maybe we should stop the rivalry and live in harmony
Nahh
Well they seem content in a low paid job
As a freelance artist, hipster snob
They should integrate but they just refuse
To ever make a charger we can use
We're clearly over run
The Daily Mail say they're scum
So who am I to argue with what's right
But I don't want to cause offense
I see some in the audience tonight
And it often feels like you and me
are not too far apart
We can both download our Candy Crush for free
And if you cut the smart phones open then they'll
both spill green chips
Maybe we should stop the rivalry and live in harmony
'Cause we're all just phones, I mean they're all just phones
We're born the same because we're all assembled by
An Asian guy, and when we break, we have to make
Calls to Mumbai. Oh why oh why
Is it Samsung v.s. Apple
We're not programmed to be friends
Samsung v.s. Apple
But is that the way it ends?
What if Samsung stood with Apple?
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Samsung stood with Apple
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Join in with me on the 'ahh ahh's' this time
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
One more time
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
What if Samsung stood with Apple?
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
(Get your phones out)
Samsung stood with Apple
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Come on you Samsungs
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Alright go on then iPhones
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
What if Samsung stood with Apple?
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
What is Samsung stood with Apple?
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Ahhhhh Ahhh
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11. |
[Taking A Gap Year]
01:18
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12. |
Postcard Home
02:59
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Dear Old People
We don't really think that you understand us
We can't get off on an office
That doesn't really speak to us
And we're sorry
That everyone thinks we're inherently selfish
When all that we've ever wanted, is all that we've ever wanted
Tour the world, and live our lives in permanent bliss
If you're not into travelling
Then you might as well be dead
That's a fact, it's what Columbus would have said
Dear Old People
It's not like you had a dream of your own once
And being married with kids
Isn't what everybody wants
We want hammocks
But we want them inside so we don't get our phones wet
'Cause we are digital nomads, we are carving our own path
We can change the world in ways you won't ever get
If all you do is run hotels
Or you pilot all our planes
While we meditate and wait for insta-fame
(Just imagine some panpipes here)
(Some tabla)
Dear Old People
We just want to write hypothetical letters
And be bohemian artists
Making the journey last forever
Life's for living
Doing malibu shots on the back of a hippo
And ski while eating a croissant
Review the tropical restaurants
That we only went to cause of all the reviews
We want to help wash elephants
Even if they wash themselves
Most of all we want to truly find ourselves
And to never be like anybody else
Yours Sincerely All The Travelling Millenials
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13. |
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14. |
I Got The Cliché Blues
02:54
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I woke up this morning, and I got out of bed
I woke up this morning, and I got out of bed (yes I did)
I didn't get up in no afternoon
I got up in the morning instead
I heard that my baby, said I’m doing her wrong
I heard that my baby, said I’m doing her wrong
I said girl our sex should be private
You shouldn’t say that to your mom
I’ve been drinking whiskey, since she left town
I’ve been drinking whiskey, since she left town
Well she’s been away a week now
And my urine’s turning brown
(Let's take it for a walk now)
(You didn't think I was going to do a solo, did you?)
I met the devil, at a fork in the road
I met the devil, at a fork in the road
Well he was asking for directions
So I showed him where to go (nice guy)
I’m so down and out now, and I’m so damn depressed
I’m so down and out now, and I’m so damn depressed
I need a socially acceptable method of sharing my problems
and anxieties in a large-scale unthreatening environment.
That’s why the blues are the best
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15. |
[Serious Face]
00:09
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16. |
She Was My Love
03:48
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She was my love
She opened up my heart in ways
I'd never even dreamed
She made me be the better man
I thought I'd never be
And if you see her. Will you tell her? To go fuck herself
I'll put this nice
I really hope she fucking dies
I can't believe she made me eat that vegan bread
We were close
But now I'd rather date my Dad
Than have to picture her just laid across our bed
And only vodka's any use
When I face the sorry truth of what we were
How I'll never get to wake up next to her
So I hope she gets entangled in some danger with the mob
And I hope that her new fella has a razor wire nob
So if you see her, you can tell her, to go fuck herself
She made me feel
Just like a praying mantis feels
Before the female bites its head off during sex
We were close
And she meant everything to me
But just since yesterday, I've plotted out her death
I hope she's hit with poison darts
Maybe eaten by a shark, or swallowed whole
By a banking scam that slowly sucks her soul
'Cause she opened up my heart in ways
I'd never even dreamed
She made me be the better man
I never thought I'd be
And if you see her. Will you tell her? To go fuck herself
And I know she isn't evil
And I know she isn't mean
But that's how I describe her now
To people close to me
And when I see her, all I tell her, is go fuck yourself
She was my love
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17. |
[Small Town Problems]
00:20
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18. |
The Crisis In Northwich
03:12
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Well there’s exploitation in China
And gun crime in the USA
There’s social distance in Russia
Korea could blow us away
There’s a chemical warfare in the Middle East
Poverty’s spread right through
The people are starving in Africa
But hey what else is new?
‘Cause nobody’s mentioned the crisis in Northwich
The pub on my road shut down
Well there’s earthquakes shaking down Haiti
Tornadoes hitting Bangladesh
The ice sheets melting in Greenland
Each day they report less and less
There’s hurricanes sweeping the United States
And Canada’s crushed with snow
Tsunamis are drowning the Philippines
In case you didn’t know
But nobody’s mentioned the crisis in Northwich
It’s rained everyday this week (September)
Oh the price of housing’s a nightmare
And I don’t know who to accuse
The traffic’s bad at the weekend
But you won’t get that on the news (criminal)
Why be worried about your street
when your garden’s overgrown?
Why look over your neighbour’s fence
when you can’t take care of your home?
'Cause there’s major flooding in Thailand
Pandemics out of Mexico
There’s nineteen countries in Europe
That won’t let the dear Euro go
Oh there’s deforestation in the tropics now
And wild fires everyday
There’s blood spill and chaos in Africa
But that’s all far away
‘Cause nobody’s mentioned the crisis in Northwich
The buses all finish at six
(No exaggeration's there)
Nobody’s mentioned the crisis in Northwich
(#SaveNorthwich)
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19. |
[One Song Left To Play]
00:55
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20. |
The Funny Side
04:54
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In the global playpen
Nation leaders push their luck
Then someone cries and someone lies
About something they took
And the Doomsday clock gets close to bang
With every second look
But we can always see the funny side
When the Nuclear Winter hits
You can stay off work and skive
We could all live underground
And we'll make front doors a slide
Your big regrets, your student debts
Will all be brushed aside
And then you'll really see the funny side
Well in your boss' office
Your head honcho deals his worst
You clear your desk, you did your best
I guess you must be cursed
When it's time to go, inside you know
You must do something first
To see if you can see the funny side
You glue your boss' laptop shut
Then you draw a cock and balls
Cling film all the office phones
Then you leave a few missed calls
If playful stuff is not enough
Smear blood along the walls
And then you'll really see the funny side (oh yeah)
In the lonely studio
A writer pens a song
On dealing with emotions
When your life is going wrong
Oh but he can see the irony
That's plagued him along
That he can only see the funny side
His heart is in the music
With no songs about himself
His touring and performing
Often come before his health
He'd like to bet, he'll make it yet
But it's so hard to tell
When all that he can sees the funny side
Oh it's hard to reach them with a subtext
When you mention vulgar subjects
Laptops with some genitals inscribed
Well it's lucky that I'm like I am
And I can always see the funny side
Funny side
Funny Side
Funny side
(Who said he were funny anyway?)
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21. |
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22. |
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I met her in a club in town
The feeling was instant, the world felt so distant
Even though we were squashed in the crowd
Things happen very rapidly
Her head hit my shoulder and I pushed her over
But she got both her arms around me
I pulled her hair and she detangled mine
We kissed and she bit on my tongue
Now she’s reaching down to
The zip on my trousers
Oh I can just feel this is love
'Cause she’s so drunk now
I’m so drunk now
But she’s violently keen to have me
She’s so drunk now
I’m so drunk now
We’re in love and we’re both delving in
This modern romance
I reckon we were made to be
It couldn’t be random, we dry-humped in tandem
And we both smelled of beer, sweat and weed
She stood up like a duck on ice
She mumbled some nonsense
To do with her conscience
As she took me away from the lights
She took my fingers and licked every one
Then nestled my hand in her pants
Now we’re in the toilets
I already know that
We’ll each get a taste of romance
'Cause she’s so drunk now
I’m so drunk now
Oh she’s violently keen to have me
She’s so drunk now
I’m so drunk now
We’re in love and we’re both delving in
I'm feeling sick
She’s so drunk now
I’m so drunk now
But it seems like she only wants me
She’s so drunk now
I’m so drunk now
We’re in love and we’re both delving in
This modern romance
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Chris Tavener Manchester, UK
Jangly-guitar rock and a biting sense of humour meet in the storytelling songs of Chris Tavener. A deft lyricist with an
acerbic wit, Tavener writes his lyrics from the perspective of flawed characters that he draws from 21st century life.
“”An interesting lad with an elastic turn of phrase” – Steve Lamacq, BBC 6 Music
“Nice set. Kinks-y vibes” – Carl Barat, The Libertines
... more
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