The Project 9 Sessions

by Chris Tavener

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1.
2.
03:51
3.
4.

credits

released December 21, 2014

All music and lyrics by Chris Tavener
All instrumentation performed and arranged by Chris Tavener
© Chris Tavener 2014

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Chris Tavener Northwich, UK

Chris Tavener is a satirical singer-songwriter, known for his comedic, witty lyrics and a vintage sound.

Having completed 351 performances in 2016, Chris is one of the most hard-working musicians in the UK. His latest EP received acclaim from Steve Lamacq of BBC 6 Music who has played the tracks four times on national radio. The success of the EP led to two nationwide tours, totalling 12 weeks.
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Track Name: The Crisis In Northwich
Well there’s exploitation in China
And gun crime in the USA
There’s social distance in Russia
Korea could blow us away
There’s a chemical warfare in the Middle East
Poverty’s spread right through
The people are starving in Africa
But hey what else is new?
‘Cause nobody’s mentioned the crisis in Northwich
The pub on my road shut down

Oh there’s earthquakes shaking down Haiti
Tornados hitting Bangladesh
The ice sheets melting in Greenland
Each day they report less and less
There’s hurricanes sweeping the United States
And Canada’s crushed with snow
Tsunamis are drowning the Philippines
In case you didn’t know
But nobody’s mentioned the crisis in Northwich
It’s rained everyday this week

Oh the price of housing’s a nightmare
And I don’t know who to accuse
The traffic’s bad at the weekend
But you won’t get that on the news
Why be worried about your street
when your garden’s overgrown?
Why look over your neighbour’s fence
when you can’t take care of your home?

Oh there’s major flooding in Thailand
Pandemics out of Mexico
There’s nineteen countries in Europe
That won’t let their dear Euro go
There’s deforestation in the tropics now
And wild fires everyday
There’s blood spill and chaos in Africa
But that’s all far away
‘Cause nobody’s mentioned the crisis in Northwich
The buses all finish at six
‘Cause nobody’s mentioned the crisis in Northwich
Track Name: Going Places
Well I’ve found a new direction on a bachelor’s degree
I’m living on a budget so there’s nothing in for tea
It’s pasta on its own again today
I spend my waking hours spending money I don’t have
I’m drinking in the high street but at least I’m not a chav
My debts are going up but it’s alright

‘Cause I’m going places
I’m going places
‘Cause I’m going places
I’m going places
I’ll be a credit to my field
And a gift to all the world
I’m a raw attractive talent
About to be unfurled
With a faith in my degree I’ll get through
They’ll tell me everything I need to do

I wake up from a coma and I’m cringing from the light
My stomach’s turning over all the drink I had last night
I cannot dare to glance the date today
My work is piled up in all the papers on the side
I’ll take the whole day off because I’m clearly not alright
Exams are coming up and it’s alright

‘Cause I’m going places
I’m going places
‘Cause I’m going places
I’m going places
I’ll be a credit to my field
And a gift to all the world
I’m a raw attractive talent
About to be unfurled
With a faith in my degree I’ll get through
They’ll tell me everything I’ll need to do

When I’m rich I’ll get a flash TV
I’ll roll up in Rolls Royce Limousines
No more discount food
Just the very best cuisine

‘Cause I’m going places
I’m going places
‘Cause I’m going places
I’m going places
I’ll be a credit to my field
And a gift to all the world
I’m a raw attractive talent
About to be unfurled
With a faith in my degree I’ll get through
They’ll tell me everything I’ll need to do
Track Name: Wrecking The Bar
I struggle to feel
The rabid appeal
Of kicking a ball in a net
My mate’s will prolong
The football that’s on
They bite their lips and they sweat
But there’s a part of me that helps me see their point of view
Don’t know the players
I don’t know the club
But I’m wrecking the bar if we lose

If we’re playing Spain
And they win the game
I’ll fight like a bull in a ring
If Switzerland score
Then you can be sure
My swiss army knife takes a swing
If Poland win I’ll make our local deli rue the day
Don’t the players
I don’t the rules
But I’m wrecking the town anyway

If we’re playing France
And they can advance
The bistro in town’s getting hit
If Germany win
A war will begin
The streets will be hit like the blitz
It’s not how well you win it’s just how bad you take the loss
Won’t know the players
I won’t know the club
But you can bet that I won’t give a toss

I struggle to feel
The rabid appeal
Of kicking a ball in a net
My mate’s will prolong
The football that’s on
They bite their lips and they sweat
But there’s a part of me that helps me see their point of view
Don’t know the players
I don’t know the club
But I’m wrecking the bar if we lose

Oh I don’t know the players
And I don’t know the club
But I’m wrecking the bar if we lose
Track Name: My Little Friends
Well I want you to meet, my house mate
He’s a free spirit of his own
He likes to mix with others
‘Cause you can’t take him alone
He makes me mad and makes me sick
But I always come back
Debauchery descends
With my little vodka friend

Well I want you to meet, my best friend
He’s a bit screwed up in the head
With a bubbling personality
And confidence to spread
He gets me into trouble
But he makes it feel so good
And I’ll always defend
My little lager friend

I can’t get enough
Of my little friends of mine
All my other friends
Could never be so kind
All I need’s a little more
Then I’ll be calling time
Time

Well I want you to meet, my lady
She’s a really corking redhead
And when we spent the night together
She helps put me to bed
She makes me feel like I don’t have
A care left in the world
And I’ll always depends
On my red wine lady friend

On all my little friends