Phoney Supremacy

from Is He Joking? (Live) by Chris Tavener

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    Listen to Chris Tavener's live show 'Is He Joking? (Live)' with your very own physical CD copy of the performance.

    ‘Is He Joking?’ is the first live album and DVD by satirical singer-songwriter Chris Tavener. Chris takes over Manchester’s Three Minute Theatre for a one-man-show featuring brand new material (Faking Cool, Postcard Home) and older much-loved songs (Apocalypse Prediction, The Crisis In Northwich)

    Join the “comedy genius” (Pop Culture Pipebomb) with “an elastic turn of phrase” (BBC 6 Music) as he takes you through a night of emotive, thought-provoking and humorous songs in this intimate theatre setting. Previously endorsed by ‘Funny Or Die’, ‘Songwriting Magazine’, Steve Lamacq and Paddy McGuinness.

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Daily Grind, Easy Ways To Be Happy, It's Cold Outside Today, Postcard Home, Bottle It Up, Is He Joking? (Live), Faking Cool, Apocalypse Prediction, and 7 more. , and , .

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lyrics

Are you scared to say how you really feel?
Do you feel afraid, 'cause you know it's real?
When you see that they're coming over here
There's a million more in a single year
They speak a different language
And they're not compatible
With the rest of us, they look out for their own
The government won't make it stop
I saw one in my corner shop near home
I just don't like the people that use iPhones

I'm a Samsung man and I'm really proud
When I get a text you can hear the sound
*whistles Samsung ringtone*
Well it's not PC but I face the fact
That I can't be near a phone that's black
Nokia and Nexus
Have their own communities
They keep that to themselves that's fine with me
But I'd rather set my house on fire
Than let an iPhone use my wireless key

But it often feels like you and me
Are not too far apart
There's beauty in the world's diversity
And if you cut the smart phones open then they'll
both spill green chips
Maybe we should stop the rivalry and live in harmony

Nahh
Well they seem content in a low paid job
As a freelance artist, hipster snob
They should integrate but they just refuse
To ever make a charger we can use
We're clearly over run
The Daily Mail say they're scum
So who am I to argue with what's right
But I don't want to cause offense
I see some in the audience tonight

And it often feels like you and me
are not too far apart
We can both download our Candy Crush for free
And if you cut the smart phones open then they'll
both spill green chips
Maybe we should stop the rivalry and live in harmony

'Cause we're all just phones, I mean they're all just phones
We're born the same because we're all assembled by
An Asian guy, and when we break, we have to make
Calls to Mumbai. Oh why oh why

Is it Samsung v.s. Apple
We're not programmed to be friends
Samsung v.s. Apple
But is that the way it ends?
What if Samsung stood with Apple?
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Samsung stood with Apple
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Join in with me on the 'ahh ahh's' this time
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
One more time
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
What if Samsung stood with Apple?
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
(Get your phones out)
Samsung stood with Apple
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Come on you Samsungs
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Alright go on then iPhones
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
What if Samsung stood with Apple?
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
What is Samsung stood with Apple?
Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhh Ahhh
Ahhhhh Ahhh

credits

from Is He Joking? (Live), released April 27, 2018
All Music And Lyrics By Chris Tavener

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Chris Tavener Manchester, UK

Jangly-guitar rock and a biting sense of humour meet in the storytelling songs of Chris Tavener. A deft lyricist with an acerbic wit, Tavener writes his lyrics from the perspective of flawed characters that he draws from 21st century life.

“”An interesting lad with an elastic turn of phrase” – Steve Lamacq, BBC 6 Music

“Nice set. Kinks-y vibes” – Carl Barat, The Libertines ... more

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